Yeah. About that.
I was determined to make my son see sparkles and sunshine coming out of my ass this weekend. I was going to be the most bad ass mommy in the world and he was going to remember my creativity forever. And he would go to school and tell all his friends that his mama did some crazy ass shit and it would make all the other ankle biters jealous. This mama was going to rock the mama game.
And it went over like a lead balloon.
Boyfriend could have cared less about the hours (*cough, minutes, *cough) that I spent taping those godforsaken ziploc bags to the sliding glass doors. He didn't bat an eyelash at the gorgeous electric blue messless finger paint right in front of his own eyes. He definitely didn't marvel at the awesomeness that was ME!
You know what struck his fancy? What he kept repeating? What he insisted was the greatest thing on the planet next to "jaba joooosh" (Jamba Juice)?
Poop.
Dog poop.
On his mat outside.
So, kid... as you're reading this when you're older, just know that your mama tried. But apparently steaming piles of dog shit make you smile way more than your mama getting her Pinterest inspired goodness on. I will not win any mother of the year awards, but my dear, if poop makes you laugh, then poop it is.
In unrelated news... look at this gem...
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| don't be jealous... |
15 comments:
Yet another reason I could never have a boy...
don't beat yourself up for not being crafty. most of us hilarious girls make up the lack in craftiness with humor. so that isn't needed.
and kegaluniverse?? so jealous.
Did you approve or deny Kegeluniverse? Were you reminded of the benefits of Kegel exercises like their mission statement says? Hahaha
I totally have your back on those SAHM's with their blatant craftasticness. The good news is that I know my child did wayyy more fun stuff in preschool than I could ever have thought up to do with him at home. even with the invention of pinterest. I give you double high-5's for the effort! it looks awesome and do you live on a canal??? awesome!
bwahahahahahaahah this cracks me up! OK and the Keigel request just really made me laugh...so did u except? hahahhaahha
love you
Sums
I am upset that Kegel did not want to follow me :( JEALOUS!!
Ok, everyone wants to know...did you accept?
That's really funny- my kids would not play with the zip lock thing either. I can't even get Paxton interested in play doh.
Okay so your the most bad ass mom in the world!! How did you do that ziplock trickery?!
hahahahaha! I think it's hysterical they want to follow you ;)
And one day Smith will love playing in the finger-paints with you...but for today dog shit won. Oh well :)
I give you mad props for actually making a pinterest project. I pin shit all day long and don't make any of it...which then in turn makes me feel really bad about myself.
At least you actually even had finger paints in your house to attempt the project.
I leave that messy shit to daycare. That's why I pay out the ass....so they can deal with the clean up.
Who's mother of the year now? LOL
I completely dig you creation....and the boy will also. Maybe in like a year...and when the doggy ish is picked up!!! lol. KEGEL all.the.way!!!!!
He will appreciate one day!! And I can't even beleive there is a Twitter for that- too much!
Major props mom for the finger paint idea...too bad sjit is way cooler.
Educate me on Jamba juice?
Smith needs to do a vlog!!!
B
This whole post = pure awesomeness
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