March 5, 2012

Mama's Boy Syndrome

Secretly, I love having a mama’s boy. I love that when he wakes in the morning, he yells out “mommy” on repeat like its 1988 and he just bought the new NKOTB cassette. Step by step, baby!

I love that he hugs me and says “yai yuh yooo”. I love that he hands me a book and wants me to read to him. I love that he lets me sneak in kisses and tummy tickles.

But forgodfuckinsakekidifyoudontletmeshowerbymyselfimightlosemyshit …

I feel bad for Husband. He’s definitely feeling the wrath of unapologetic Mama’s Boy Syndrome happening in our house. Husband looks completely defeated every time Smith reaches for me or refuses to eat oatmeal unless Mommy is within spitting distance. The tantrums are epic. And god forbid anyone other than Mommy reads him a book.

I know there will come a day that he prefers balls (husband’s and soccer ones) over his squishy, kissy face mama. The time will come when he’d rather go for a walk and kick rocks with daddy than bake cookies with mommy (who am I kidding? I buy mine at Publix… this aint no Leave It To Beaver shit). Smith will prefer watching baseball with dad than helping mom wash dishes.




I know this time will pass. And probably far too quickly for my taste, just as quickly as everything else has in the 19 months I have been a parent. But sometimes in the midst of a particularly stressful mama boy moment, I just want to say "dude, your oatmeal is going to taste exactly the same if daddy feeds it to you. I don't have magical mommy dust coming out of my ass that makes everything taste like rainbows."

Instead, I just say FUCK under my breath. To which Smith repeats with perfect pronunciation in his tiniest little voice. I giggle quietly, change topics and go about my business so he doesn't suspect how amazingly awesome, yet completely terrible it is that he said that word.

Only to make him repeat it at bathtime for daddy just so he can hear how silly it sounds.

I wish I were kidding.

MOM FAIL.

 Photobucket

25 comments:

Mrs. Newlywed Giggles said...

Hahaha. The bathtime lesson is awesome.
Hang in there!

Shannon Dew said...

If it makes you feel any better, when KP says sick it sounds like SHIT!

♥ Marcy ♥ said...

I wanna have a Mamas Boy!!!!

♥ Marcy ♥ said...

I wanna have a Mamas Boy!!!!

Holly said...

I love a good mama's boy, too. At three years old, it doesn't happen as often-- so milk it while it lasts... Even if that means not showering alone. Ha. :)

Crystal Seed said...

Girl, you have a Momma's boy....and I have a Daddy's girl! Oh Em Gee, something has got to give sometimes! I mean, don't get mr wrong, I like it sometimes when I'm just sick of holiding a 24 lbs squiggly toddler and she goes to Daddy, but when it's time for din din or something and she wants nothing to do with me, yea, that's the frustrating part. Ugh!!

KatiePerk said...

Bwahaha. You look hot in that pic! I enjoy the Fbomb from a toddler every now and then!

Rachel said...

I totally have a mama's boy too - like you, I secretly love it but there are times when it makes me want to LOSE.MY.SHIT!

My 'word' of choice is always 'shit' and repeats it SEVERAL times every time I say it. I totally giggle and have even recorded it! :)

elizabeth said...

Haha! H still prefers me to hubby when he is upset or tired but def wants dada to play with him.

AmbyLand said...

I have a mommas boy. He used to be just like that. And I encouraged it. He has matured into a friendly 2 year old that still loves his momma. But I really loved it when he only wanted me.

SG to SP said...

Hunter is already a mama's boy. It's amazing how he'll scream his face off for Kristian and then I just pick him up and he stops. I secretly love it but it does get annoying if I need to put him down to you know pee or something. I think right now it's just because he knows I'm the milk lady.

Kara said...

I am pretty much 100% certain that you would be AWESOME to go out and have cocktails with. God, I am RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. My 6 month old wants nothing to do with my husband and she wants me to lug her 19lb body around EVERYWHERE.Yes, kid is the size of an 18 month old. All I do is say fuck in my head all day long. God, I love your blog!

Sarah Brown said...

This post made me laugh and cry a little bit. My son is 4 and a half, and is a TOTAL Mommy's boy. It's kind of ridiculous, and I know it hurts Daddy's feelings. My boy loves to snuggle with me at night, and he goes so far as to ask me every night before he falls asleep: "Mommy, please don't leave me alone and go to work in the morning." In fact, if he wakes up and I'm gone already, he bawls. It's kind of heartbreaking.

On the one hand, I love having a snuggle momma's boy, but I do sometimes worry about how sensitive he is. I do think he'll make someone very happy one day, he's such a love. :-) (And he really likes to say the word "butt". A lot).

K said...

I love how most children struggle with the correct pronounciation of everyday words, but I have never heard one who didn't say a swear word clear as a bell from the first time they tried. And although I know it is horrible, there is nothing funnier than a little kid dropping the f-bomb. (Until it's mine that is)

Sarah E. said...

My 4 year old, who has been a turbo mama's boy since the day he was born, had a little spurt of daddy's boy syndrome when my husband was deployed last year - and it seriously broke my heart. Mama's boys are the best - even through the "mommy does it better" times :) Believe me...there are so many times I wish my 4 year old would just LET HIS DADDY WIPE HIS BUTT. *sigh* Mommy does it better.

Anonymously, Mine said...

I 18 month old niece said "asshole" last and I laughed. There is really nothing more cute and funny...and wrong.

{andthisiswhatshesaid} said...

haha this post is hilarious. when my nieces and nephews cuss I cannot help but laugh, although its totally not funny at the same time.

Marjorie said...

Logan was a total momma's boy. I ended up embracing shower time as our special "us time" and grew to love it. I'd hold him and we'd sing songs and he'd tell me silly jokes that he made up. It was actually really nice. Viv, however, is daddy's girl through and through, so I feel Kent's pain. It sucks when your baby doesn't want you! Of course, it does mean that I now get to shower alone . . .

Aly said...

This made me laugh out loud! So funny!

*Katy* said...

LOVE having a mama's boy! George is starting to cling more to me and while it drives me bonkers, I love it too :) At 7 months old he already has an attachment! At least I'm getting lots of kisses in ;)

Mrs EyeCanSee said...

Maybe Jamie and Smith should go to mama's anonymous. Apparently yesterday when I left for an hour or so...he roamed the entire house yelling for me. Stood at the windows looking for me. Even went as far as to pull one of my sweaters out of the bedroom and carry it down the hall saying "mama, mama"

Oh dear. While it's flattering, it would be nice if someone else could make him happy once in a while!

Stephanie said...

If my child doesn't say fuck by the time he or she is 2, then I will question whether or not he/she is really my child.

Stephanie said...

If my child doesn't say fuck by the time he or she is 2, then I will question whether or not he/she is really my child.

melifaif said...

Word. To all that. Especially THAT word, lol.

Ashley @ KiwisandCocktails said...

aw man. I think we have the opposite problem. A is a total daddy's girl. Dada dada dada...
I think thats typical. boys love mom and girls love dad.