In this weeks Celebrity Junk dolls, we have learned some important lessons.
MTV hires morons who not only made bad tattoo choices, but they also find the dumbest of the dumb who would rather spend 5 years in jail than successfully complete a drug rehabilitation program. Oh Amber. You're a fucking idiot.
Kristen Stewart actually doesn't look like she has a corn cob shoved up her ass. I never thought I'd say this, but she actually looks GOOD. She's still an unemotional troll though. Smile for f*cks sake. You have millions of dollars, a great career, and pre-mommy boobs that don't sag to your belly button. Suck it up and smile once in awhile.
The Octomom has gotten a contract to show her tatas and vajingo at one of South Florida's finest strip clubs. I guess with 14 mouths to feed, she better use her jelly to make the dough ifyouknowwhatimsayin. But girlfriend gets a BITCH PLEASE for saying she lost her weight (and ten tons of stretch marks) without plastic surgery.
A pregnant Drew Barrymore got hitched for the third time. Eh, I just really don't care. Snooze.
After 20 months of being pregnant, Jessica Simpson had her baby girl Maxwell Drew. Jessica and Maxi are adorable. But I keep thinking of Kotex every time I see the name. Nothing spells adorable like your monthly bloody show.
My favorite white trash princess and her gums are engaged to Liam Hemsworth. Did someone forget to tell her that she's 19? I am 32, married with a child, and some days wonder if I can commit to the same person for the rest of my life. I have a hard enough time picking out paint samples. The scary part is that if she pops out a kid and it happens to be a girl, their daughter would be within the same age range as Smith and therefore one day Miley could be my inlaws. OH MY GOD.
Do you have any junk to share? Link up!
27 comments:
Your soo funny! I always look forward to reading your blog. I heard the Karadashian's are developing a makeup line. WHO CARES!
OH my word, the thought of a Miley child is just...AHHHHH!
When I saw the Drew wedding headline all I could thing was *AGAIN*. I mean, when do we all just stop caring? How about now.
I don't hate the name Maxwell for a girl, I mean, it's better than Sunshine Moonbeam or some other weird celeb name, but Maxi is just not a good nickname. At all.
I'm going to call BS on Octomom's boobs too. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if those are real then I will listen to an entire Justin Bieber CD from start to finish. I'll just need tissues for when my ears start to breathe.
And THANK YOU for the Marky Mark pic. He is to me what RR is to you. Think it is inappropriate to use that pic as my desktop background at work?
This cracks me UP! You are so funny! I keep thinking Maxi pad too! And no comment on Miley...she's crazy. CRAZY. I give it 6 months.
Sister say what!? Amber is going to jail?! for real?! Maxi is adorable little chubby ball of goodness, i want to eat her up. and umm...octomom aint foolin' no one
Amber is going to jail for five years? She's a hot mess...like that tattoo she got...her little girl is precious, but that tattoo has gosta go.
I posted about Miley and Liam getting married too, I just hope she doesn't show up on Hunger Games grrrrr lol.
The hubs says the same thing about Kristen Stewart that she is unemotional lol, I just noticed she doesn't smile ever, that pic is really good of her!
Awwww baby Maxi is a doll!
Drew married again? Why am I suprised lol!
Fun stuff, Fun post
xoxo
Did you hear the people cover with J simpson didn't even sell the usual weekly amount! what a waste of $850,000! Guess when your pregnant for a year we just don't care anymore!
Priceless for a friday. Great job hit all of them head on. Have a great Friday!
The moment I heard Miley was engaged, I said out loud "Kristen is going to have a hey day with this!"
I feel for J.Simps kid, poor girl is going to be called Maxi Pad her whole life. And at least now we know why she was SO huge, girl gave birth to a toddler.
Should we start the pool now on how long before Miley and Hottie McHungerGames call off their engagement? No way is that chick going to actually get married at 19 and if she does she's an idiot.
thank you for being so hilarious.
the fact that miley is engaged is redic. REDIC!
Oh my, you totally touched on every topic I've been discussing this week. All I talk about are these celebs obviously lol. Girl, I know this has nothing to do with the above celebs, but good Lord I love that pic of Marky Mark.
Oh my, you totally touched on every topic I've been discussing this week. All I talk about are these celebs obviously lol. Girl, I know this has nothing to do with the above celebs, but good Lord I love that pic of Marky Mark.
Thanks for starting my day off right! haha.
1. Bout dang time she gives up and goes to prison--I'm tired of watching that emotional trainwreck!
2. I really just don't care for her. But maybe that's cause I'm a Twilight hater?
3. No freakin way did she lose all of that naturally!
4. Snooze.
5. Her and her baby are just precious. So glad that thing finally came out!
6. Gah, I still can't believe she snagged such a hottie. Hope he enjoys waking up to that every day!
Awwww, I love me some Drew. However, I do not share that love with the name Maxi, or any stories about Octomom.
Thought the same thing about Maxwell and when I heard the Miley news, the first person I thought of was you....hahahaha! Happy weekend!
The picture of Octomom looks like the ones you can have done on the boardwalk where they photoshop your face onto a fitness model's body. Pretty sure I have one of those somewhere featuring my 14 year old face.
hahah... I am loving your celebrity junk posts!!!
<3 Melissa
http://scribble-n-dash.blogspot.com/
I am not a Miley fan and I look forward to reading about her divorce in 72 days-2 years. Hopefully she's smart enough to hold off on the babies. Oh Miley.
No, Octomom. Just no.
That shit about Amber doesn't surprise me. She's a nut job!! Leah is so darn cute, I don't know why she would want to be away from that little girl! And the Octomom?? HA! Yea, and I don't have any stretchmarks either...YEA RIGHT!!!! That shit didn't happen without going under the knife! BULL SHIT!
i'm SURE you will raise smith better than to fall for some big-gummed, half australian hillbilly =)
I think that TeenMom chick is from Indiana too, thats what someone told me. Not everyone that yields from here is that classy though, don't get too excited.
Haha! Love this post. Particularly the part about Miley being your inlaw one day. :p
There are so many words for each of these and yet not enough at the same time...amazingly ridiculous. You are really hysterical. Thanks for the laughs today!
Chelsea
www.hautechildinthecity.com
This post just cracked me up.
I totally agree with K. Stewart. Every time I see her face or even hear her name, I shudder. Ick.
all I have to say is, BITCH PLEASE!!!!
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