Two nights into the big boy bed and Smith is sleeping deliciously without any magical cure or drugging him until he's loopy. Stone cold sober. Not even a drop of Tylenol and he's rocking the shit out of his new bed. Yes, I realize I just jinxed myself on that one. Thanks dick (me).
You'd think with two solid nights of rest I'd be in better spirits. Instead I want to drop kick a fluffy kitten. Okay, not really, but why the fuck is my patience at an all time low? The whining in our house makes my skin crawl (and yet I do it on this blog, so perhaps I should take a good ole gander in the mirror eh?).
Last night was a doosey trying to wrangle a hot mess of a toddler into bed and bath. He cried (read: screamed with no signs of tears) through the 30 minute routine. Why? Because his bitch of a mom turned off the Bubble Guppies Truck episode after only the 3rd repeat of it. God, what an asshole Mom.
Kid literally screamed. Face purple, stomping, limp noodling himself all the way through bath and getting dressed into his pjs. Oh the pjs. How dare I actually try to put him into Elmo pajamas! The world is fucking ending if he doesn't wear his robot pajamas instead. Watch out universe, the apocalypse is happening NOW. And brush his teeth? Sweet baby Jesus. I might as well have lit his favorite bear on fire and danced on its grave.
I don't understand toddlers. And I don't understand how I... a remotely reasonable 32 year old woman with common sense (sometimes) and the ability to rationalize emotions (occasionally) allow myself to get so worked up into a tizzy over the drama queen toddler antics. I know better. I am in control (yeah right). I should be able to stop my blood from boiling and strapping myself to the back of a convertible Cadillac and drive off a cliff with my neck scarf blowing perfectly in the breeze.
Some days it's just really really really really really really really hard to not lose my shit.
BTW, Little Laws Prints is donating goodies for a fundraiser. Stop my Megan's blog to enter. You'd be supporting an amazing family in need.
Happy Friday dolls. Cheers to your day starting off better than mine.
BTW, Little Laws Prints is donating goodies for a fundraiser. Stop my Megan's blog to enter. You'd be supporting an amazing family in need.
Happy Friday dolls. Cheers to your day starting off better than mine.
20 comments:
I remember those days working with the little ones. The days when you are like "seriously?! You're fine!". I always wanted to tell them that they don't know real problems. But of course, they wouldn't understand that either. Thank goodness for alcohol. I'm pretty sure someone with a young child invented it! Hope your weekend goes more smoothly!
Oh man when b whines I go from 0-60 in a second. I can't stand the whining!! Having a special needs toddler who can't communicate but is still as opinionated as any toddler, every year I age 5. Ha!
This may be the reason we still don't have kids. LOL
You are not alone.
Add to the above the girl high pitched squeal and you've got it completely. The squealing {during temper tantrums} makes me rage!!
I, on the other hand, have lost my ability to put her to sleep. She full body tantrums for me and zilch for daddy. I'm over it.
And that Bubble Gups episode is one of Lily's favs too.
I'm laughing at this because the visual I have in my head right now is amazing!!!
I seriously don't know how working out of home / in home Mom's do it ..... YOU.ARE.MY.HERRROOOO
I experience this almost every night on an 8 month old baby level and occasionally on a 7 year old level...and it is really hard to not lose your sh*t, I totally agree. Oh and doing homework with a arguementative, know it all 7 year old and a baby who doesn't want to nap but wants to scream his head off at you? Shoot me now. Please.
Here is where I am thankful I get paid less than a homeless person panhandling on the streets of Chicago as a junior high teacher. Because when I get home? Connor is 1,000 times easier to deal with than 90 hormonal teenagers and their social life drama. Don't even mention the actual schoolwork drama.
But yay for sleep!!
My skin is just crawling thinking about having to go through this stage... maybe she will be a little angel? BWAHAHAHAHAHA WHO AM I FUCKING KIDDING???? Anyways... I love your descriptions but more than that I love you! Hang in there sweetie and grab yourself a supersized box of deliciousness before going home tonight mmmmmk? MY ORDERS! =)
Well you get a date night tonight! There's an upside!
Not sure I'm gonna survive the toddler years.
When Hunter fusses and cries (for no apparent reason) I'm just like "yes I realize life is SOOO hard for you, it's tough having every thing done for you" If they only knew how easy they have it.
We hit this stage at about the 2 1/2 mark and where there are still moments, as she has gotten closer to 3 they are less often. Does that help? Light at the end of the tunnel?
Now it's more attitude and teenage shit and we should have at least 10 more years until that happens, but I'll take any step in any positive direction.
Happy Friday! Make sure your wine stash is fully stocked :)
I just read this outloud to Cody. We were cracking up because we are going through the exact same thing right now with Evie. Oh, and my 4 year old has reverted back to throwing temper tantrums too...mama's vacay needs to get here a little quicker.
We have the same drama.. Usually over sippy cups. Ugh
Awwww dang... thy the heck these kids gotta be driving us crazy... good thing they are cute.. or some days I consider Ebay as a good option... I kid, I kid... maybe?!?!
There must be something in the air. This morning I texted my husband and told him our toddler was trying to convince me to be an only child the morning. The clinging, whining, crying...all over NOT letting her watch herself eat on my iPhone, ridiculousness.
Can't reason with her. She's too damn smart for her almost 15 months but doesn't have the emotional regulation to control her damn self.
I was tempted to spike my coffee this morning.
This will not make you feel better... They ALL do it!! I have an almost 3 yr old and he does the same thing. Oh and those Bubble Guppies? We have every episode recorded. I hate those little mermaid kids but they do keep N occupied so I actually love them. Don't lose hope, I hear it does stop at some point.. Maybe at 18?
You are freaking hilarious. This is the second time I’m going through the terrible two’s and I can say from experience that my son’s tantrums are a bazillion times worse than his older sister. He is the sole reason I drink.
Oh my gosh. The Elmo pj's thing cracked me up! We put let Hazel pick her own night gown and she STILL pitches a fit... She is 2 1/2 and I'm pretty sure she's insane.
Oh my god. I laughed my ass off during this post. Not because it's funny but because my life is exactly like this. How sad :( haha Thank baby jesus for vodka :)
I just found your blog a few days ago, I feel as if our children were separated at birth! That and I am in love with your constant dropping of the F bomb. Thank you. I sometimes feel as though I am the only Mother that wants to stab myself in the face, and drown myself in wine. I despise the terrible twos.
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