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You'd think filling your uterus with the spawn of the single most egotistical man and woman in Hollywood would be enough to satisfy your inner (outer) attention whore, but Kim has done it again and shown everyone her Oface. Public tonguing is odd enough to witness from strangers. I don't need a photo enlighten me on how Kimye's baby came to be.

I got this amazing skirt from eShakti and it's GORGEOUS! The best thing about this website is that you can completely customize every article of clothing. Do you like that dress, but wish it were tea length? How about wanting cap sleeves instead of regular straps? Done.  This skirt had me at hello. The material is divine and the cut is fabulous. Can't recommend it enough. And for being awesome dollfaces, eShakti is offering LLP readers a discount for 20% off using the code FRSTNMESMT.

Nothing spells bad mom like giving your kid an accidental buzz cut that was really meant to be a mohawk. Things went south when he saw the clippers come out and started thrashing like a dog in heat. Smith looks like an Army reject. Thank God it grows out (eventually). I do think that every kid is due their bad mommy-born haircut though. Case in point... the bangs that started at approximately 1 inch from my asshole. Thanks mom.

I am battling the sickies again this week. It is truly laughable at this point how long I have been ill. Since Halloween (on and off) but who's counting. I am headed to the 4th doctor this afternoon to find out what's going on. If I was a hypochondriac, I'd assume that I have leukemia and my low white cell blood count was granting the germs permission to enter and make babies in my blood system. But I'm not a hypochondriac. Yet. I'm just infected. And contagious. And a threat to society. The shittiest thing about being sick for this long is the length of time I have to be on antibiotics which leaves my box of wine feeling neglected. Poor thing.